so i suppose this is the first real challenge. my kryptonite - being at home. all weekend. i have plans with a friend this afternoon so that'll keep me busy for a while, but this evening and all day tomorrow, that is going to be the challenge.
what do i do with myself? okay, i know the real answer: anything! go to the gym, read my kindle, take a nap, work on the crocheted scarf i've been working on for almost two years (yes, seriously), perhaps do a little christmas shopping, clean my apartment. those are all options. and in the course of a weekend i can really do all of those things.
but i want to just watch tv and eat whatever i want.
i'm going to do my best to be mindful.
there have been moments this week when i've had the opportunity to eat something sugary, or let loose and get something wholly unhealthy, and i didn't.
last night i met my friends at a mall to see the hobbit, opening night. we were waiting in line and taking shifts to go have a quick meal at tgifriday's. very few things on that menu are under 1000 calories. it was around 7pm, and i hadn't eaten in about 6 hours, and work had been particularly mentally exhausting. i was struggling. i ended up choosing one of the "under 750 calories" dishes and was proud of myself, and it did taste good. and i left some on my plate.
i made the choice to get something healthy, even though the comfort and familiarity that comes with eating a burger or some dish with lots of fat (aka deliciousness) was SO tempting. a part of me still even feels a little pang, a little flash of disappointment that i chose something healthy.
that's obviously the compulsive eater part of me. and it's okay that she's there. she's been there for god knows how many years, and she won't go away after only like 5 days of mindful eating.
i'm going to embrace her and accept her. for today at least.